From the beginning

So i'm writing this blog b/c i feel like when i was told the words "surgery" there was nothing at least that i could find that was a first person account and that was from a woman's perspective. so i thought that a play by play of what has happened up to this point and what will happen over the next few months might be helpful to the next person who's dr tells them you have failed treatment and its time to consider surgery. I know that word really freaked me out, but its not that scary, hopefully this will help. so lets start from the beginning:
ps i have horrible grammer etc., it is what it is ;) and 2 I will probably be pretty graphic so if you don't feel like knowing what my bowel movememnts (bms) look like feel free to skip!
I was diagnosed w/Ulcerative Colitis at 21 about 4 years ago. I had no idea what was going on for the first few months and I have always been of the mindset that "I'm young and healthy, it'll take care of itself" (never a good way to think!) Finally after embarrassingly confessing my symptoms to my mom i started seeing a series of drs and undergoing blood and other tests to figure out what was going on down there we discovered i had UC. I don' know if i can adequately express how embarrassing and hard this whole diagnoses process was for me. I have always thought I was too cute for this disease. What i mean by that is i am super modest and easily embarrassed talking about "bathroom" issues. there are probably certain people in the world who would disagree with that but they are the far minority ;). and so here i am having to discuss my bodily functions, what they look like, how frequent etc w/complete strangers, it was really tough and i probably did myself a real disservice in the beginning b/c it was hard to get over, but thats the reality of it.
To make a 4 year long story short I had a great dr and went into remission basically right away w/the help of Asacol and mesalamine (sp) enemas. I was in remission and also probably denial. I was a senior in college and continued the lifestyle that went along w/that, at least for many people. I basically acted as though nothing was wrong and I just had to take these pesky pills. I continued living this way for about a year, year and a half and then i was hit with another flare up and thats pretty much the flare up to end all flare ups. It never really went away.
I had honestly a not so great drand I had no idea how to navigate the health care system. I thought the drs would have my best interests at heart and doeverything they could to get me healthy, i was pretty wrong, at least in this case. I felt that i was a burden to my dr and everytime I called they were like oh you again, so i stopped seeing him, completely. I still took my pills but i really felt this particular team of drs and nurses could care less if i got better or not. I once got a colonoscopy from him (which was like pulling teeth) and he said oh you'll be in remission soon, just wait, well that was 2 years ago and never happened!
I searched out my own "alternative" medical therapies, I was willing to try anything to get better and just be a normal twenty-something. I went to a curandero, I started going to a chiropractor who i actually suggest if you are in the Denver/Boulder area, she made me feel great for awhile my body had just had enough i think by the time I got to her. Until i finally found a dr who I feel actually gavea damn, and he proved it along w/his partners and his nurses. Anyway I say all that to say that there is NOTHING more important than being your own "health advocate" as my mom puts it. You have to really take an active role in your treatment and if you don't like your dr, get a new one!!!!!! and educate yourself, those are the 2 things i should have done much much earlier. the more yo know about your condition the better armed you are to overcome it!